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There is no better argument for the elimination of nature than Cymothoa Exigua. Sometimes called the “tongue-eating louse,” these soggy parasites enter the gills of an unsuspecting fish (like Dory from Finding Nemo) and attach themselves to their host’s tongue. They divert the blood supply until the tongue withers and dies, then they latch on to the tongue-stump and just hang out in someone else’s mouth, drinking blood and fish mucus and not paying rent.

The worst part is, the host fish don’t die. They have to live and find a way to cope with the fact that their tongue is now another creature. It’s a natural organ-transplantation, and it’s very wrong and bad and must be stopped. The only positive thing about Cymothoa Exigua is that they change their sex from male to female, which is cool.