Like you can see in the video above, this app’s claim to fame is its stint as a pitch on ABC’s Shark Tank. So, to channel this entrepreneurial spirit, and to quote every person in my DMs: let’s get down to business. I don’t “get” Coffee Meets Bagel.

Similar to Hinge, it markets itself toward people who are sick of swiping. It has helpful features for users who like a little extra nudge, such as sending you personalized ice-breakers between matches, as well as sending plenty of notifications to your phone (á la Duolingo). And, true to its San Francisco startup roots, Coffee Meets Bagel “makes use of information from Facebook friends and mutual connections to discover suitable romantic matches.” While that scares me away personally, I can see that sort of synergy appealing to others.

Similarly, here’s where I get lost: Why are matches called Bagels? Then again, if that quirky in-app lingo appeals to you, there’s a good chance you’ll match with someone who is a better fit for you than I am.

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